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Perfect Example of Personal Statement
I have been going nuts trying to find that example of personal statement success that I red, copied for students, and recommended as a model of the perfect example of personal statement writing years ago. The writer was aloof but engaged, humorous and irreverent but hearty of prose skill, and showed interest and viability as a future student at a graduate school without showing neediness or groveling (which we all feel obliged to do, especially with college-entry competition what it is today).
But since I cannot find that example of personal statement perfection, and since I have taught workshops on the personal statement/college entrance essay and have tutored, proofread, and helped revise hundreds of statements that turned out successfully ushering students to the colleges of their choices, I will instead give you key elements to look for when using example of personal statement models.
Example of personal statement should be written as good as or better than a college-level composition. It should have order, the typical introduction, body of supportive elements, and satisfying conclusion; and it should be grammatically and syntactically sound, with no punctuation or spelling errors. There should be a clear thesis statement (hence the name, “personal statement”) and offer enough examples of success, goals, etc.—answering to the prompt as closely as possible.
Example of personal statement should be fresh, original, honest, and free of complaining, pity-pot sitting, etc.. The school knows it is great. The board reading the hundreds of application essays does not find your pitiful sob stories valid support for why you want to be an astronaut, and will not be swayed by how many immigrant hands were worked to the bone to get you into mainstream culture and see you into the medical/legal/other highest-paying professional field(s) just because it would make them proud. If you speak to any of the above, do so because it is 1) part of the answer to the prompt in the application booklet or is 2) to show how you have turned that suffering on its ass and are better for it…not how it gives you license to be admitted to a program with forty seats but four-hundred applicants.
Example of personal statement shoud show how you will be a contribution to THEM/THE SCHOOL, not the other way around. I know, you are likely paying big bucks to prove your worthiness, but because there are many clones of you—with just as high grades, just as many volunteer activities, and just as much need—you need to stand out, prove you deserve that seat, and make the readers of the personal statement not toss it in the trash (so to speak) but turn it over on the pile of yeses and turn to each other and say, “Remember that [example of personal statement writing from umpteen million years ago] by [insert your name here]?”
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